Sunday, May 27, 2012

All Apologies

After Mother's Day I posted a blog filled with loathing for my birth mother and self-loathing.  I read it last night and removed it.  Not so much that I care if she ever saw my feelings, but that as much as this is a place for catharsis and self-psychoanalysis, there is a role for an objective and trained third party to deal with those feelings, not the world out there.

My apologies.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Third Anniversary is now a PPT

May 14th is the third anniversary of when I first met my partner.  Actually the 13th for me because of the 8 hour time difference between Phoenix and the UK.  But, we have agreed upon the the 14th. 

Last night, at a wine tasting with a friend of mine, C, I told him that I am creating a powerpoint to celebrate the 3rd anniversary of meeting Karl.  He looked at me in disbelief, chugged the bit of wine they give you in a tasting:  "What? What happened to paper, or silver, or whatever the hell it is for year three?"

I choked through the next small bit of wine they pour at a tasting (it was a syrah and too much for me), and  had to admit, on the surface, it seems superficial.  But, in reality, the ppt took not hours, but days to create.  Karl and I live 5,000 miles apart and each slide is a collage of each of our visits...21 over the last three years.  I made a slide show with animations and transitions.  It is a work of love from someone who has spent a number of years as a consultant creating these "deliverables".  And, my love is a person who spent a lifetime in film making of various sorts.  Visuals can be more evocative for a memory than merely prose.  But, there is prose included when I wanted to emphasize a particular memory.

McKinsey love making from a distance.

But wait.

What are the "real" anniversary gifts?  According to wikipedia, year 3 is "leather".  Jeezus.  Perhaps in the day this meant something like a saddle, which would have sat well with my Montana and South Dakota great grandmothers, but in modern times, "leather" could veer more towards sub/dom whips ala Shades of Grey, or visiting a gay leather bar depending upon ones proclivities.  I personally would want that new great looking Celine bag with the ends that vee out.  No pun.

On that note, I learned that the gift for year 5 is "wood".  Good God, I want wood on the daily anniversay of when we met not just year 5.  Best of all, if anyone can make it that long, is year 80 - "oak". 

No powerpoint can replace oak.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Alcohol Substitutions

No,

This is not about finding ways to avoid consuming alcohol like exercising, talking to your 12 step sponsor or going to the dog park.  This is about the fact that bars - even high end ones - will substitute rot gut liquor for the brand I request. 

The most recent example of this occurred at Le Perigord in Midtown Manhattan, a throwback, the kind of restaurant that you went to in the 70s for important occasions like your grandmother's birthday, 8th grade graduation (against your will knowing that there would be no Bay City Rollers in the background), Mother's Day, etc...  I ordered a Crown Royal, neat, with a couple of splashes water.  There is no way to hide the taste of the whiskey when prepared this way.  I took a sip of what they brought me.  It was clearly some kind of "well" bourbon.  I mentioned to the waiter that I didn't think it was Crown Royal.  He offered to quiz the bartender about the drink on my behalf.  When he returned, he said that it was indeed Crown Royal and brought me another, rot gut bourbon.  About 10 minutes later, the head waiter brought me a Crown Royal explaining they had made a mistake and given me Makers Mark.  MISTAKE, NO SHIT!  I also drink Makers and it was not that either.  Do these people really believe bourbon drinkers don't have sophisticated bourbon/whiskey palates?

Now, I know you are thinking, "Crown Royal, who cares?  That's not a premium whiskey.  What's her beef."  Well, I am a consumate bourbon drinker and over the years have learned that bourbon triggers my migraines.  So, I search for bourbons/whiskeys that don't trigger the headaches, but are drinkable.  Crown is one of them. Therefore, it is extremely important that I don't get something that I am not ordering.

That aside, when I am paying $15 per ounce and a half, give me the fuck what I am asking for.  I will start calling out places that substitute bourbons/whiskeys on this blog.

Stellargirl

A Fresh Start

Hello to anyone who for some reason stumbles upon this....

I am starting this blog because I can't afford a psychiatrist; so, gentle reader you will be my silent analyst while I write away from my couch.  Sometimes supine and sometimes upright.  If you read further, you will be subjected to my streams of consciousness as uncomfortable as that may be.  Feel free to close out of this window at any time if what I say gets annoying, cloying or more likely, boring.

I think that some will dip in once and leave, and others dip in from time to time; none will stick around.  I think Match.com has changed the way we relate to others and that finding a blog that someone likes can be similar in approach as finding someone to date - there is a database of thousands even millions of people vying for the attention of others through the internet.  So, as I disastrously (and unknowingly) competed with a database of women the two attempts I made at online dating (that doesn't even include my Craigslist experience), I am now entering the full-on competitve world of blogging.

Why am I making this foray?  Well, that gets me back to needing pyschoanalysis to work through my need to be accepted and rejected.  So gentle reader, the dance begins....stay tuned for my next post.

Stellargirl